Sunday, July 10, 2011

Gender Confused

No one can do Free dress days like Vermont. Our theme for the second free dress day of year 12 class of 2011? Gender Swap. Now. I can major issues and gripes with this from the very beginning. We took a vote and the last theme for our free dress day was Animal Kingdom which I did end up liking secretly though my friends weren't so hot on it. I got some really good photographs on my Diana Mini which I have developed recently and some of them look amazing and I was really happy. However the main girls that wanted to have Gender Swap as a Free Dress Day theme are the slutty ones who I have zero respect for and simply use this as an opportunity to borrow the boys football uniforms and wear terrible wigs. One in particular who I will simply refer to as the incognito Tess Pap took advantage of the situation of having a free dress day sprung on the year level after mid year exams and posted on Facebook "this is out theme, don't argue we don't have time." Bitch.

Still I managed to come to terms with this challenge thrown at me and thought I would take this opportunity to dress up as my favourite Gallifreyan, The Doctor. The Eleventh Doctor to be exact, with his cute little trademark tie, suspenders, vintage black boots, shirt and tweed jacket.

But divine intervention through my amazing best friend Clare struck that fateful Thursday morning before school and we made the secret plan to come as the Super Mario Bros. I dressed as the younger, taller and green moustached Luigi brother and Clare, the more recognisable and popular plumber of the two. She searched up tutorials on her smart phone to create two hats to complete the already existing overalls and respective red and green. The night before I busily made two mustaches out of permanent marker ink and fabric band aids as proof of our manliness. With great fury and frenzy after I had trudged to the bus stop and back, my feet already hurting from wearing Doc Marten boots for a mere 20 minutes and commandeering my brother as a chauffeur for myself I threw myself into the task of transforming 4 squares of felt into two hats using nothing but thread and a bucket as a pattern. They may not have been the prettiest of hats but they took 30 minutes to sew and I had to do the finishing touches during my free period with the paranoia that if my Chemistry teacher saw that I wasn't busy studying he would yell and embarrass me warning that I can not access him during Swotvac before the end of year exams.

It was well worth the panic and the adrenaline to look as I did on the day, and even more splendid next to my best friend. One of her teachers pulled us aside in the year 12 corridor for a photo for the Wall of Amazing Costumes the year 12 coordinators have in their office. Secretly I suspect that because of that day my best friend and I are now in the running to become 'The Best Best Friends' of our year level and win the Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum award. Something that seems very special to me since my boyfriend and I both like Alice in Wonderland (he's lent me 2 of the 3 Alice movie versions I've seen).

I enjoyed stroking my friends mustache as well as my own all day, swaggering around the school and trying not to laugh as the younger children looked at us in a mixture of amazement, and most probably horror at the boys with their hairy legs sticking out of tiny Summer uniform dresses. A truly mortifying sight indeed. But still, those boys are good quality fun, especially the ones that adorned fake tan and make up.

My favourite girl in drag was my friend Maddy, who in my humble opinion makes the best man out of all my friends and is the most fun to take pictures of with her creepy pedophile face mastered to perfection as well as her posing and moustache fixing.

Out of all the classes of year 12's throughout the years, I think mine has to be the most blatantly and flamboyantly sexual.

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